They came from space.
Your dog already knew.
BARK Division // Case File 2026-K9 // Declassified for Public Release
// Memorandum — For Public Release
On REDACTED of REDACTED, field operatives first detected anomalous SQUEAKER-based transmissions emanating from REDACTED living rooms across the continental United States. Subject entities were observed being carried, shaken violently, and de-stuffed by canine operatives acting of their own accord. Dogs showed no fear. This was the first known instance of REDACTED making direct contact with Earth's most powerful species. The American people — and their dogs — may draw their own conclusions.
Alien Gnawtopsy
// Subject was found. Dogs were involved.
Thoracic cavity pre-breached upon discovery. A secondary entity was found concealed inside the cranial unit. Canine operative on scene showed zero distress and maximum satisfaction. Emits dual SQUEAKER signals. CRINKLE emissions detected upon all contact.
Obtain Specimen →
Alien Gnawtopsy
// Case note: Subject was found. Dogs were involved.
Thoracic cavity pre-breached upon discovery. A secondary entity was found concealed inside the cranial unit. Canine operative on scene showed zero distress and maximum satisfaction. Emits dual SQUEAKER signals. CRINKLE emissions detected upon all contact.
Obtain Specimen →// Exhibit B //
Galactopus
// Four appendages. Zero survivors.
Subject made immediate contact via four BALLISTIC NYLON appendages optimized for tug-based engagement. Outer HARDCORE FABRIC layer is designed to be compromised — a TPU RUBBER CORE waits inside. Survived REDACTED consecutive fetch sessions. BPA free. Verified by REDACTED.
Obtain Specimen →
Galactopus
// Case note: Four appendages. Zero survivors.
Subject made immediate contact via four BALLISTIC NYLON appendages optimized for tug-based engagement. Outer HARDCORE FABRIC layer is designed to be compromised — a TPU RUBBER CORE waits inside. Survived REDACTED consecutive fetch sessions. BPA free. Verified by REDACTED.
Obtain Specimen →// Exhibit C //
The Gaylien
// It came in peace. It did not leave in one piece.
Arrived from a galaxy so far off it doesn't appear on REDACTED star charts. A concealed SQUEAKY SECRET BONUS TOY was extracted by canine operative within seconds of first contact. Subject's mission: REDACTED. Engagement is ongoing.
Obtain Specimen →
The Gaylien
// Case note: It came in peace. It did not leave in one piece.
Arrived from a galaxy so far off it doesn't appear on REDACTED star charts. A concealed SQUEAKY SECRET BONUS TOY was extracted by canine operative within seconds of first contact. Subject's mission: REDACTED. Engagement is ongoing.
Obtain Specimen →"Three entities. Confirmed.
Your dog already knows."
// Additional Specimens On File //
[ Browse All Specimens ] →Additional specimens released on a rolling basis. No clearance required.