Hello, welcome to the rest of your dog’s life.
The journey to radical transcendence starts now.
Is your dog a good girl or boy?
Consult Snowball, The Everwise to find out
The beast should be tamed. That’s what they say. They, the cynics, the burdened, the ones who walk happily on all fours. But what does your dog say? Your dog doesn’t need to say anything. The cosmos can do all the talking. Chakras vibrate across the universe, condensing down to a single point of light. This isn’t the future. This is the NOW.
Take a bite of cosmic super sludge that makes up the multi-dimensional planes of existence and this galaxy will become abundantly clear to your canine. Inter-dimensional “skipping” is to be expected. You may notice your pup starts to place their paws in a particular fashion. The revitalization of the self is complete when their fangs reach seventeen centimeters in diameter. Long translucent conversations with the unknown will lead to a deeper melding with the parameters of conic suggestion.
Maybe you’ve heard that 2 plus 2 equals four. And yet, how to understand the 2 that requires no addition? The 2 that refuses to be combined? If it’s order you desire, so be it. 1) Revere and release. 2) Accept that the universe behaves according to logic far beyond the boundary of synaptical illusion. 3) Ascend!"
The Answers You Seek Are Already Here.
Ready to change the
world of your dog’s life?
The Answers You Seek Are Already Here.
Pharmaceutical-grade dog treats
These treats haven’t been watered down by federal regulations. Uncut and ultra high in flavor.
Siberian Squirrel Whistle
Banned in thirteen countries, this Siberian Squirrel Whistle is dangerously effective. Blow it once and every squirrel within a half mile radius will be at your dog’s mercy.
Service Dog ID
Bring your dog with you anywhere — restaurants, movie theaters, nuclear reactors. No one will question your authority with this genuine, 100% real Service Dog kit.
Psychic Purge
Cleanse the ocean of impurities that weigh heavily on the modern dog. This ancient treatment adheres to the highest standards of metaphysics.