Precision Soil Deployment.
Zero Crap-Grass Contact.
Picking up dog waste leaves residue in grass, carpet, and concrete. Doo-Doo Dirt Master™ deploys a controlled soil layer beneath your dog before contact.
From Johnny Knoxville & Bucket.
Precision Soil Deployment.
Zero Crap-Grass Contact.
Surface Integrity
Is Under Threat.
You know the move. Bag in hand. Kneel down. Lift carefully. And still, the grass gets disgusting.
Johnny asked one question:
Why let it hit the grass at all?
On dirt, it lifts clean. So we deploy dirt first.
Engineered soil. Delivered mid-squat. Placed exactly where it needs to be — between the problem and the surface.
Is it strange? Yes. But so was Jackass, and you watched countless hours of that.
Doo-Doo Dirt Master™ prevents contact before contact happens.
The result:
Clean lift. Zero trace. Surface preserved.
Traditional Outcome
Simulate Squat Deployment
We think this is how it will work? Is this what you were picturing, Johnny? HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BUILD THIS??
How It Works
(Supposedly)
Harness Overview
- Internal gyroscopic squat detection
- 0.3 second deployment latency
- Cartridge-based substrate system
- Adaptive terrain compensation
- Looks kinda cool, right?
Before. During. After.
Choose Your Substrate.
Three formulations. One mission.
Ridgeback Red Clay™
“Origin: Somewhere hot. Probably dramatic.”
Best for:
Backyards that take themselves seriously.
Saharan Zero-Trace Sand™
“Origin: Western Sahara.”
Best for:
Because sometimes you poop on carpet.
Alpine Micro-Granulate™
“Origin: Swiss Glacial Basin.”
Best for:
Lawns that deserve a fighting chance.
Expand the System
Purpose-built modules for every deployment theater.
Travel Dirt™
Compact refill cartridge system for on-the-go surface preservation. Precision-milled substrate sealed in aerospace-grade aluminum. Because accidents happen everywhere.
Indoor Carpet Edition™
Low-profile micro-deployment mat engineered for interior surfaces. Protects fibers before contact happens. Discreet. Overqualified.
Dirt for Low Riders™
Reduced ground-clearance configuration for Dachshunds, Corgis, and other vertically challenged breeds. Optimized arc geometry. Zero compromise.
Trail Deployment Kit™
Modular hard-shell transport case for multi-surface missions. Organized. Contained. Slightly unnecessary.